Did you know I smoked for 19 years? .
I know, I know. Moms don’t smoke! Neither do teachers, Pilates instructors, vegetarians, runners or Health Coaches. And you know what's weird? I don’t regret it one bit.
I smoked for majority of my adult life and I loved it. It started as the “cool” thing to do, that years later turned into my biggest regret. There were years that I was a pack-a-day smoker. I would quit and then start again, due to sadness, withdrawal or weight gain. Nicotine totally controlled me. My stepdad used to say to me, “Hey Sarah. You know that smoking really contradicts with your healthy lifestyle.” Duh. If it was easy to set them down and walk away, I would have done it the first time I wanted to quit. Here’s the thing: Nicotine is a physical, mental and emotiotional addiction. It's not easy to “just quit.”
A few things played a role in my decision to finally stop. in 2015, Ziggy was beginning to say words, and the thought of him asking why I smelled like smoke, or asking me what a lighter was for terrified me. I didn’t want to continue to be that closet smoker mom.
I had also recently read The Compound Effect, an amazing, quick read, that reminds us that all things, good and bad, over time, have the ability to yield HUGE results. In this case, it was not-so-hot-results. My role as a Health Coach had recently begun as well, and I was working daily to inspire others as they embarked on their health journeys. It just seemed wrong to be telling people that their body was their most valuable asset, then put my baby down for a nap and sneak a smoke break. {liarliarpantsonfire}
So, on July 5, 2015, I smoked my last cigarette. And just like that, I began my journey to being nicotine free. No patches, no pills, no gum. I would be lying if I said it was easy. It really sucked. I loved smoking cigarettes. It was like losing a best friend. There were days I felt sad, others angry. Some days I screamed in frustration, and others I wanted to just curl up and press fast forward. My husband Chris and my clients were my biggest cheerleaders. Days turned into weeks, and weeks into months.
And before I knew it, one day, I realized that I hadn’t thought about smoking. It was awesome.
I still think about cigarettes sometimes. They were there for me in good times and in bad. They were there for me when I needed to decompress or to take a break from a stressful situation. We shared lots of laughs together with good friends. And I don’t regret smoking a single one of them. They were a big part of my life for a really long time.
I look back now and think about the TIME and MONEY I have gained, not to mention truly treating my body the way it deserves to be treated. Because hey, if we don’t have our HEALTH, what do we have?
Here’s the thing: Change is HARD. Change takes TIME. It takes CONSISTENCY. It takes WILLPOWER and most importantly, keeping your eye on the prize. And that is your WHY.
We all have room to grow and make ourselves happier, healthier versions of ourselves. As I continue to grow and change, I am especially thankful for those closest to me, who see both the rays of sunshine and the thunder crashing down. Without them, I wouldn’t ever find the strength to make it through difficult tides.
In whatever positive change you are making in your life, stay strong. YOU are worth it. I promise.
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